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Dealing with double standards

HE SAID, SHE SAID

By ShaMaar A. Blount & Cassie Tucker
On April 13, 2011

HE SAID

"Double standards" is a term we all have to deal with but, guys, why is it that girls seem to think they are the only ones that suffer when it comes to one sex getting over on the other? Sure, there is always the cliché that if a guy sleeps with more than one girl he's a player and if a girl does it, then she's a whore. While that may be true and unfortunate it does not mean that girls can monopolize the unfairness that is a double standard.

For instance, women can say anything they want to a guy and he's supposed to take it, but if a man did it then it would be wrong. We all know that guys are not supposed to hit girls, but what about when a girl hit's a guy? Sure, it may not have the same impact, but it's still wrong. It's his action that matters, not the impact. Would it be okay if I robbed a corner store as opposed to a bank? Sure, I may get more money from one then the other but they're still both crimes.

Men are always expected to be the tough guys, but when they're not they become labeled as a "punk," while a woman is expected to be emotional and guys should just get used to it.  This is hardly fair. Since when did one group of people get to claim that they've suffered more than others? Yes, there are issues that are different but that does not mean that one should be looked at as more important or more acceptable than another.

If a girl calls too much, she's worried, but if a guy does it then he's clingy.  It's these exact opposites that we make social norms and this is how double standards are created. This inequality is what is really the problem and if we continue with the mindsets, we create victims and not victors.  So ladies, don't play the victim role and guys, stop trying to show off because in the end, they're both annoying.

Double standards are an unfortunate reality. However, it is one that we must deal with on a day-to-day basis and lets be honest, it doesn't seem to be changing anytime soon. So fellas, next time you hear a girl complaining about a double standard remind them that while it's unfair, they're not the only ones who have to deal with them.

 

SHE SAID

We have all witnessed it: the dreaded double standard. Especially since we are in college ­and the weekends may involve more than simply studying, rumors spread faster than wildfire. It's funny, because before even thinking about writing this article I witnessed an example of a double standard that we have all heard before. I was listening in on a conversation, when the topic turned to a particular young lady who supposedly slept with a guy the first night she met him. The guys discussing the issue immediately labeled her a ‘slut', without further discussion or explanation. Now, readers, in no way am I a fan of promiscuity or promoting it in any way, but wouldn't the guy that young lady slept with be just as ‘easy' or ‘slutty'?  Why does gender change the connotation of emotionless sex? It doesn't seem quite even, and the ball is definitely not in our court my fellow female readers.

It just doesn't seem fair; men have completely opposite standards when it comes to their promiscuity. It honestly sickens me that most of the time a high five and "Good Job Bro" is congrats for a one-night stand by a guy's buds. What ever happened to gender equality? I'm not trying to be dramatic, really I'm not, but I just don't understand why girls get harshly labeled and guys get praised for sleeping around. It comes to the point when guys don't get enough action that they are ridiculed by their closest friends. Doesn't it seem a little odd to you that girls aren't hugging each other after a walk a shame? Not at all, it's just normal to keep that personal business as something personal instead of commendable or heroic. Call me crazy, but isn't sex supposed to be special, between you and someone you genuinely care for?

As women, we may never see the day when the double standard is no more, but we have to learn to live with it. Guys may be forever put on a pedestal for having tons of sex and girls banned to offensive and degrading labels, but there is room for improvement. First off, [and don't mistake me for your high school sex education teacher], sleeping around isn't safe let alone emotionally healthy. You need to put your health and wellness first and then think about satisfying your needs. Second of all, if you find yourself with pompous pricks that only care about sleeping with you and saying goodbye in the morning, then you need to rethink who you surround yourself with. If a guy seems like bad news, he probably is. Play it safe and date guys who are courteous and respectful, and maybe, slowly but surely, we will overcome the double standard in our own little way.          


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