Movie Review: Sin City

“Walk down the right back alley in Sin City and you can find anything.” So what are you looking for? Gut-blasting? Limb-severing? Head-busting?
If you were thinking “Kill Bill Vol. 3” you’re wrong. Well…… almost. Quentin Tarantino did have a small role in this film as a guest director.
Instead, meet Robert Rodriguez, the one man moviemaking machine. He writes, directs, produces, cuts, shoots, and stabs his movies. Now you may ask me, “How could someone produce something and then shoot it at the same time?” Then I would bring you real close, fold a lock of your hair behind an ear and calmly tell you, “Didn’t you know? Just because you get shot, doesn’t mean you die.”
If you’re one of Robert Rodriguez’s heroes you can probably find the best life insurance on the planet. Get run over by a car? Nothing breaks. Knocked with a sledgehammer? Not a bruise. YOU CAN’T BE KILLED!
Crime, murder, torture… let’s see, what are we missing here? Ah! Full-frontal nudity and sex, sex, sex.
Let me start out by saying this is a great film. No, really.
This film is based upon the graphic comic of Frank Miller and it gets an A+ for character development. If you are a comic fan you will be satisfied with this film. This isn’t Ben Affleck in red tights or some computer generated spider-whatsit version of Tobey Maguire. It’s great when you see a movie and you cannot recognize Bruce Willis and Britney Murphy because they settle so well into their characters.
First, we meet Hartigan (Willis), a good cop that’s retiring his badge. He has one more night to make it count so he goes looking for the serial child rapist. He may have enough time to save a little girl.
Second, we meet Marv (Mickey Rourke). This guy is a monster ape. Scars on his face, old, yet tough, and that chin! Sick! I hope it’s not real! He lives a life of crime. At one point, a fellow character describes him as being born in the wrong era, saying he would be more in place wielding a battle axe in the midst of an army. His mission is to avenge the death of his only true love, Goldie (Jaime King), a hooker who gave him a one night stand.
Third, we meet Dwight (Clive Owen). Along with his troop of amazon whores, he must fight to protect their area of town from outside forces so they can stay in business. What a freakin’ hero.
Once you watch this movie you feel like you’ve sinned. A man’s love organ is mentioned so many times in so many various ways I had to refer to my American English Slang dictionary to make sure they were all legitimate. The women have a very hard time keeping their clothes on. Someone should go over there and explain to them what a pair of pants is.
Grandparents and religious people everywhere will rant viciously after seeing this film. But even their rants will be unheard by those who watch this film. America was doomed years ago when Kinsey said that toddlers could reach the height of sexual pleasure by clutching a bottle. While the pope’s body grew cold in a casket in Vatican City how cold were the bodies in movie theatres across America as they saw Sin City?
Surprisingly, I didn’t come out of the film wanting hot sex with Jessica Alba. The only thing I wanted in that moment was to hold my girl’s hand and watch the sun roll behind the horizon.