Alcoholics Corner

We all have fun and crazy drinking stories. Random moments in time where inebriation is the sole purpose of the “best” night of your life (if you can remember the next morning). I will share with you a story I have compiled from various sources (seeing as the individuals involved can’t remember much of anything).
It all started at UB on a Friday night. There was a campus-sponsored bus trip into NYC for all night city wandering. Most went in hopes of bar hopping, but one in particular was in for more than he bargained for.
For anonymity’s sake, we shall call him Big Red (his choice, not mine). Big Red and a friend decided to start the evening’s festivities a little earlier than the midnight bus trip, a few hours early actually, with screwdrivers being the drink of choice.
As early as the bus ride, things started to get interesting. Due to lack of a bathroom and hours of prior drinking a bathroom was required.
Leave it to UB to provide buses with no bathrooms on a bar hopping trip.
This is when an empty water bottle came into play. Use your imagination folks, I said a water bottle was discarded out the window, which then landed in or near the sunroof of a Mercedes Benz… Yes UB… we are a classy bunch.
Now arriving. Imagine hours and hours spent stumbling around this crazy city. Big Red and company consuming unimaginable amounts of alcohol, they consumed A LOT of alcohol, amounts that would probably kill the less experienced but here at UB we are professionals. Bars, clubs, even partying with models. MODELS! Ladies and gentlemen I wouldn’t have believed it either.
Back at UB, and this is where it gets interesting. After all that drinking passing out is usually the best option. That is just what Big Red did. Like anyone else with a stomach and liver full of this many toxins, our fearless drinker had to use the facilities yet again. For this kind of late night escapade, dorm buildings are no good. Our hero wakes up and stumbles to the bathroom wrapped in a blanket, but unbeknownst to him he has forgotten something.
In a drunken stupor stumbling out of the bathroom, Big Red takes a left instead of a right and follows the route back to his room (well, it would have been the route had he made the right turn in the first place). He follows blindly and curls up where his bed would be had he actually made it back to his room. It was there he slept all night.
Little did he know that this spot was one of the landings in a Bodine
stairwell. Also, he was unaware that the thing he forgot was his CLOTHES. So there he slept naked, wrapped in a blanket, and passed out drunk. What a night. Witnesses to this sight walked over him on their way between floors, avoiding him because they thought he was dead. One of these witnesses was the former Alcoholics Corner author.
Naked in a stairwell… That’s what I call a night not to remember, and he didn’t. He was filled in the next day when everyone else was talking about it in Marina. Let this be a warning to all of you out there in
boozing land. So, until next time… be safe, have fun, and have a drink for me. Oh, and don’t pass out naked in a stairwell either.