The Scribe

McDonalds Moves on Campus

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:00:00 GMT

Finally, students can say that they don't have to go off campus to go to any McDonalds. It was announced on March 22, that McDonalds is opening in the student center starting next semester.

You might ask yourself "Where is McDonalds going to be located in the student center?" Well, the answer to this is that the bowling alley will not reopen.

ABC Becomes an Oasis

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:00:00 GMT

The Albert Bernhard Center here on campus has been without running water fountains since this past summer. After an article in the September issue of The Scribe, Italian billionaire Tomuchio Dinerio decided to resolve the issue by sending a beautifully hand carved fountain to be placed on the first floor of the arts and humanities center.

No More Discrimination!

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:00:00 GMT

Inspired in Burger King's idea of a "Left-Handed Whopper", Sodexho decided to include this item in their menu.
The association leading this cause is the No Lefty Right Behind Movement (NLRBM). The members of this group claim being discriminated against for being a subordinated minority.

Weapons of Mass Destruction Found in Knight's End Cafe

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:00:00 GMT

Supporters of the Iraq War had a major victory last week when weapons of mass destruction were finally located. However, they were not found in Iraq, but rather in Knight's End Café here at the University of Bridgeport. UN Weapons inspectors were heard on site saying, "If we clone Sadaam and put him back in power, we can give him George Bush to execute in his place!"

The weapons were located during a routine maintenance of a freezer in Knight's End.

International Week at Marina

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:00:00 GMT

Monday April 7: Africa Soup: Spicy N. African Vegetable Soup with Chickpeas Vegetarian: Pounded Yam International: Chicken in Peanut Stew Tuesday April 8: Asia Soup: Won Ton Noodles Vegetarian: Spinach with Cottage Cheese International: Indian Balti Chick

A Letter from the Editor

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:00:00 GMT

Hey all, I hope all of you are having an awful semester (April fools), I'm kidding. I hope all of you are having a wonderful semester.

For those who don't know every April, The Scribe becomes The Scribbler which is the April Fools edition. Whatever you see in the edition is false and all the names in this issue are false.

Top Ten Awesome Items on Thinkgeek.com

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:00:00 GMT

The following items can all be found on www.thinkgeek.com 1. Megazooka A giant air gun. Some would say, "Now Rob, how can air be awesome?" I'll tell you how! By using this gun, you could single handedly shut down any company for an afternoon. Just wait for the boss to go to the bathroom or lunch, go in there with that gun and start shooting air at all their paperwork.

He Said / She Said

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:00:00 GMT

He Said: I feel that April Fools is a day of jokes. If your boyfriend played a joke on you then get over it and move on. You two should just laugh about it after everything settles down. I can understand you getting angry about that. But to break things off is a little extreme.

Here's To You

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:00:00 GMT

I recently found a group on Facebook that my younger brother had joined it was called something like"problems in developed countries". I checked it out to see what kind of problems we all have. One person was complaining that it takes such a long time to get to the song he wanted to listen to on his iPod since he has so many songs on there.

Classic April Fool Pranks

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:00:00 GMT

1. Rig the Sprayer Put a rubber band around the push button of the spray nozzle (the kind with a hose) so the button stays down. Point it forward. When the victim uses the sink they will get a wet surprise! 2. Do the Splits Find a scrap of cloth. Place a dollar on the floor and stay nearby.

Soccer Field Becomes Multi Sports Arena

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:00:00 GMT

On March 28, it was announced thatUB's soccer field will become a multi sport arena for many different teams starting next year.

The university felt that they were not making enough money so they have other sports and teams come here and use the field.

Tim Michaels who is the director of building and grounds stated, "In order for use to make this into a multi-sport arena we need to do more construction on the soccer field which will cost more money.

Gymnastics Team Trades Tights for Wii Fit

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:00:00 GMT

The University of Bridgeport's gymnastics team has decided to turn in their tights and stop competing at tournaments and start playing Wii Fit for the Nintendo Wii console. Though still not available to the general public in the US, Nintendo decided to give the boards to UB gymnasts simply because, "We enjoy watching hot women play the Wii.

UB Becomes a Magic School

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:00:00 GMT

Move over Hogwarts! University of Bridgeport will now be adding Magic classes to its already unique list of courses. It is now possible to get a Bachelor's Degree in Magical Arts. With the arrival of magician Norman Ng, many were exposed to some of the lessons the future Dean of Magical Arts will be providing in his program.

UB Hosts Red Carpet Event

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:00:00 GMT

University of Bridgeport has had well known names grace this campus, including P.T. Barnum. Now the life of the former Bridgeport citizen and founder of the Barnum and Bailey circus will be depicted in the independent film, The Greatest Show on Earth: The Life of P.