Ever feel like one of those vermin in a little wheel surrounded by cedar
chips? Probably not, and you have your friends to thank for that. In decision
making, there’s a fine line between uncertainty and insanity, and for most of
us, our network of friends help us stay on the right side of the tracks. There
are even times that our friends make ill decisions, and yet it somehow works
out for the better. For instance, William Hung, the guy who did not win American Idiot…excuse
me, American Idol, is now almost as famous as Ricky Martin himself, the man who
originally shook his bon bon and lived la vida loca. You see, Mr. Hung was
proud of his talent of (fill in the blank here: singing, dancing, electrical
engineering) and wanted to show America (mainly teenagers and David Oestricher)
that he had no regrets about going up on stage in front of hundreds of
thousands of viewers and making a fool of himself. And as it turns out, he has
his
own video, record deal and fans…and will probably make more money in a year
than the UB Board of Trustees will ever be able to collect from chiro and
naturo students living in Warner.
So when is it right to decide when you shoud step in for a friend and when
you should let them do their own thing, say, singing for Paula Abdul? Is there
a specific time that you should say, “Hey, dude, get of the little gerbil
wheel!” Social psychology predicts that your friends and peers have a mighty
big
influence on your behavior. And your personality, foresight, judgement and
decision making abilities comes from the association cortex of the frontal lobe.
What does all this mean? Nothing unless you are in Frey’s class or you are
studying neuroanatomy. But the meaning behind the anatomy tells us that your
pretty much pre-programmed to step in when a friend is making a decision. You
formulate your opinion and it’s there if they want to hear it (and even if they
do not want to hear what you are thinking).
The infamous “I told you so” dates back to 400 B.C. when cavemen played the
“sink or float game.” Since then, best friends have been saying that to best
friends and girlfriends have been saying that to boyfriends (maybe vice versa,
however, no one really listens to what a guy says because let’s face it , you
probably said it twenty minutes ago, and XY chromosomal being is trying to
tell you it was his idea).
So, if you are appreciative of your friend and support her going to smack
that woman who didn’t so much “accidentally” bump into your boyfriend’s gluteus
maximus belly at a club and rip out her hair and laterally flex her head into
a wall, then remember that when she makes her decision, whether a good choice
or bad choice, you are a part of it. If you didn’t prevent it, you allowed
it to happen. There are two decisions…get off the wheel, or let your friend
get on with you. Either way you have company and support. They’ll either
take the key from your hand, or help you key the car. That’s what friends are
for. God bless social psychology.